Why We Stay In Our Fear
Recently I completed a program with Tony Robbins and his incredible team called Leadership Academy...you can read my review post here.
What came out of it for me was pretty profound, it was about my fear that was STILL holding me back...after all this time and money, it was still hanging around.
It pissed me off to be honest, why was this STILL an issue?
Why Do We Stay In Our Fear?
It's simple really, it's comfort. The devil you know and all that nonsense.
So why is it so hard to move past it?
I found that I still hadn't really understood what I was fearful of. I get stuck in these loops of feeling like I am not moving things along fast enough. Like one part of me is at the start line waiting for the signal that I can start running and the other part of me is somewhere in the bloody stands waiting for someone else to run my race.
WhenI was at leadership, I realized what it was and why I was afraid of it.
Maybe this can help you too?
I realized through working with my team (6) the Vikings, that I do have this light, this energy. I have been told that for a long time and always rejected it. Always thought it too "woowoo" which was code for me simply not wanting to acknowledge it, because, you guessed it, it scared me:).
When we work in groups with people who don't know our history and don't really know our past, we get to show up the way we are, without all the baggage. This is what I show up as when I do these events, so they only see what's in front of them and in my case, it's this light I have. They are seeing me for the first time and they are seeing the real me.
So I really have no choice but to stay in this light, to let it come out, because we all agree when we walk into a room for a TR event, we are playing FULL OUT...I have no choice.
So I decided to look deeper into why this thing, which I have been told is called Kavorka (thanks Seinfeld) freaked me out. I had to look deeper into why it frightened me so much. And here is what came up for me...I am scared that if I turn it on, fully, that I won't be able to handle the energy that comes back to me. That there will be too many people who are drawn to me and that I won't be able to help them all...because that is always where I go. I am obsessed with helping people get out of suffering and if I can't 'get' to everyone then why even bother? I have this belief that I have to be able to talk to each and every person or there is no point to any of this.
So what have I done? I have changed my belief, because beliefs govern us. My belief now is that I can set up ways to honor everyone who comes into my life. My belief is that there are many ways to have the help to do what I do...my belief is that I will figure it out no matter what. My new story is that I cannot sit here quietly anymore watching people suffer when I know in my f*cking soul I can help them/you. I can't watch people I know and especially people I don't know yet, suffer in the pain of all of it...no more, I am done!
The fear of NOT is too big now. I feel like a selfish asshole if I stay small in all of this. It's not what I preach to my clients, but it WAS what I was doing, until now.
So what does this mean?
It means that I am going to consciously do things differently, I am wise to my own bullshit now.
I will make a list of the ways I was using fear to make decisions and then make a list of the opposite.
Here are a couple off the top of my head.
Inconsistent with my content creation. This is a huge one for me. Now, I will be consistent.
Never talk about sales. I am a relationship builder, not a salesperson, that distinction came to me years ago. I don't "sell', but I have also been shy to talk about what I offer. Why? Fear. That ends now
I hold back my real thoughts when I am asked to 'coach' a person who isn't my client. My clients get the real, no bs version of me, but not too many people do beyond that. Even when I am posting content, I don't often let the "high energy" me out. I don't always feel high energy, but the times I do, I hold back in fear of freaking people out or pissing them off.
When I am being in-authentic, my body feels it. Yours does too if you are playing close attention. So for me, I have to change or I will not do what I am here to do - which is change lives through my coaching and through my mission. It's that simple. And that feeling that you feel when you know you're showing up half assed, that knot, that's your body telling you to wake the f*ck up! Like NOW. So do it, wake up, stop letting fear drive the bus! Get your ass into the drivers seat and get the F going already!
It's time, right now, it's time to get moving.
The gifts you're holding back aren't doing anyone any good collecting dust on the shelf.
Show me, the world, your world, what you're made of...
Big love, Cara
ps. Now that I am owning my light and purpose, I want to share my Coaching Program with you. Here's the link, there are a couple of options for you so there is no reason not to sign up!