Updated: Jan 12
I know, I know, it's a scary thing to feel right?
You've been conditioned to NOT feel, but why? Why is this something that has been passed down over and over again? Why?
Well, my guess is that a big part is the feeling of vulnerability and your emotions can sometimes feel gross, I know it has for me.
When I was younger, I don't remember feeling a whole lot of anything besides fear. I grew up with a fear of something happening to me or my brother. I had fear that my mom would kill herself because she had threatened it countless times. I had fear that she was going to kill my dad, or me.
My emotional home was 'fear' and/or worry.
As I got older, my emotion was anger. I lashed out at everyone that would tolerate it. Most people did tolerate it, I don't know why they did, but they did and so I kept that going for a long time.
I remember being so pissed off all the time. So many things would set me off.
How someone drove or how they ordered food or fill in the blanks. I wasn't always angry, but it seemed like it was always just under the surface...
When Did I See The Light?
Well, there was a time that I lived with my ex at his mothers house. She was known as the mom who would take any of us in because she was there to save the kids who had nothing...I moved in with them when I was around 18.
I remember I was sitting on the vanity of the powder room talking to her about who knows what?
At some point, sassy-pissy-angry Cara came out while I was in there and all I heard were foot steps coming at me.
What did that mean? It meant that I had opened up angry Cara for no reason on the woman who was taking me into her home to take care of me and she wasn't going to tolerate this version of me. I remember hopping off the counter real quick and being shit scared. I never did that to her again...she has no idea how big a lesson that was!
Did I change in that moment forever? No, but it did wake me up and I was a lot more open after that.
Emotions are a necessity, they tell the body and the mind what's up. We need them and we need not be scared of them.
If I had continued down the path of holding it all in all the time and ONLY letting out the negative, who knows where I would be today?
I don't even want to know where I'd be. My belief is that I would be sick or worse.
So why must you stop being fearful of letting it out?
Because it feels good to feel.
I cry, I laugh, I get scared, and I do it all with pride now.
Emotions are the way to know if you're heading in the right direction or if you're off course.
If something makes you feel a negative emotion, ask yourself, "is this right for me?".
Feeling isn't scary, once you feel the thing, you can move on from it, it will no longer rule you.
If you're feeling happy emotions, then you know to keep doing THAT.
If you don't let yourself "feel" you will be numb to your whole life and that is never ever a good place to be.
I love you guys,
ps. if you want to learn about more 'feeling' practices, check out my Goddess Course to learn how feminine energy will help you tap into this!